Six Top Tips on General Disability etiquette.

In response to requests and not least in light of the statistics of disability hate and ignorance highlighted yesterday – over the next few weeks our blogs are going to contain occasional Hints and Tips pages on certain issues, this is the first of these.

Does he take sugar?

The name of a famous programme on disability on Radio 4, ‘Does he take sugar?’ is illustrative of the knots that many people tie themselves up in when faced with someone as a colleague or as a customer/client who may have a disability. Here are just a few quick tips to reduce the risk of embarrassment and promote better inclusion and good practice:

Don’t assume a disabled person is incapable

The most common assumption made about someone who is disabled is that they need your help. That might very well be the case but do not assume it is and do not assume that you know what is the best hep that you can give. If access has been improved and the built environment supports an individual then usually they would not need any extra help. Offer any assistance in the same way you would offer anyone else.

Be sensitive about the language you use.

Try to avoid phrases which many people with disabilities find unacceptable and offensive – words like cripple, wheel-chair bound, handicapped, able-bodied are considered by many to be offensive. Watch what you say. More next week on this issue.

Be sensitive about physical contact

For many individuals who, e.g., use a wheelchair that wheelchair is more than just a means to get around. By touching the wheelchair without invitation you are potentially invading their physical space. Certainly avoid any gesture that could be considered to be paternal or demeaning – no pats on the head or ‘There, there, poor dear’ statements.

Don’t ignore the person and speak to a helper/worker.

Many people with learning disabilities complain that they feel like they are wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. If someone comes and has a disability do not speak to their support worker but direct your questions or conversation to them. It is about respect after all.

If you are finding it hard to understand someone.

First of all try and make sure that the environment is as quiet as possible and give the person your full attention. Don’t be distracted by others or by the phone. Don’t do that thing so many of us do and think you know what they are saying and thus interrupt or finish the person’s sentences.

Even after all that if you cannot understand what an individual is saying to you, then be honest and ask them to repeat what they are saying. Never make assumptions because the chances are that you have made the wrong ones and that doesn’t help anyone in any situation.

If, after trying, you still cannot understand the person, ask them to write it down or to suggest another way that you can understand.

Don’t be too personal

It is amazing that we often ask people with disabilities questions of a personal nature that we would never ask anyone else. Maybe this has something to do with the instinct in many to treat someone with a disability as less intelligent and more child-like than ourselves. We have to be very wary of this. Never ask someone, e.g., with a facial injury, what had happened to them. Never treat someone who has a difference in body shape or size, in an infantile or paternalistic way.

And remember we are all different so no one size fits all!

Over the next few weeks we will have Top 6 tips on visual impairment, on physical impairment and on relating to someone who is deaf and hard of hearing.

If you would like to know more about our training and support work n the area of disability etiquette and disability confidence then please contact us.

If you have any other tips and hints then why not write us a comment here or by e mail: info@equalanddiverse.co.uk

Dr Donald Macaskill

www.equalanddiverse.co.uk